Hopeless Healing
by The Awesome Hunter Huntress
Summary: Trigger warnings: Suicide, self-harm, loneliness, depression. Steadily, Lovino lost everyone. His friends, his family, everyone. They all left him, one by one. The final straw was pulled when his closest friend and former crush, Gilbert, left him. He was giving up, falling apart.
1. Beaulevarde of Broken Dreams- Green Day

**Author's Note: This is my first story, but I'm not going to ask you to not judge/critisize, in fact, I would very much enjoy helpful critisism. Tell me how I can do better! Just, no straight up flames, 'kay? If you don't like it, either don't read, or tell me how I can do better. I know it is a bit inaccurate, but it fits the story better.**  
 **Also, trigger warning. It involves suicide. If you are sensitive, please don't read. I don't want to hurt anyone.**  
 **P.S. I know the title sucks. If you can think of a better one, please let me know, and I'll change it.**

Lovino was finally giving up.  
He had lost them all, one by one. At first, it wasn't too bad. The people he lost weren't very close to him, he had no real connection to them. They left quickly, without giving a reason. They simply stopped talking to him, didn't even say "goodbye". A few bothered to inform him that they wished to cut ties, and stop speaking.  
Steadily, more and more "friends" abandoned him. Eventually, he started noticing a trend. He tried asking people "Why?", but nobody would tell him. As he lost more and more people he cared about, inable to do anything about it, not even knowing "why", he fell apart, sinking fast into depression.

The last straw was when his best friend, former crush, before he gave up, Gilbert, left him. He knew all of his secrets, knew this nightmare that was becoming reality was his worst fear. He promised, time and time again, to never leave him. He was now breaking those promises. He didn't bother to leave quickly, or let him down easy. He told him exactly why everyone left him, in the harshest way possible. "Your a clingy little bitch, naïve and stupid as fucking Hell, act like an asshole to everyone, and don't deserve to have people that care about you."

Some would think he would cry, lying in bed, replaying that scene in his mind, again and again, but he didn't. Not anymore. All of his crying was done, the pain was gone, he couldn't bother to cut again, for the 12th time. He had spent the last 3 days, repeating these actions. He was out of feeling. There was nothing left, but tiredness, numbness, and a sense of emptiness. He was tired, she had given up everything else, he thought maybe he should give up living, too. He had thought about it many times, before, even planned out how, in fact. He thought over it, for a minute. Did he really want to do this? He had a future, ahead of him, a whole life. He laughed bitterly, and immediately dismissed that thought. After all, what life would be worth living, without those he loved? They were all gone now, this life wasn't worth living anymore. He reached for the bottle of sleeping pills, on the nightstand. They fit well, he supposed. He was tired of life, just wanted to rest in a peaceful "sleep", in a bed 6 feet under. He didn't bother to write a note; who would care to read it, after all? He just lied there for a minute, until he felt the warm feeling of sleep taking over. "Maybe they'll care, now.." He whispered as he gave in, closing his once-bright eyes, as he fell asleep for the last time.

 **Well, I'm kind of ashamed of how short this is. X P I was planning on this being a oneshot, but I'm considering making it longer, so tell me what you think. If I do make it a multichapter fic, it will most likely be romance, probably Spamano.**

 **Again, please review and tell me what you think, and if I should make it multichapter.**


	2. Drown- BMTH

**Author's Note: Hey, two or three people that bother to read this! Well, I had originally planned for it to be a oneshot, but someone was kind enough to comment and tell me I should keep writing, and this is all I have to write, right now, so, hey. Please review and give me helpful criticism! Please correct my grammar, I am a grammar freak personally, but even I miss some things, and if I go back and notice that, I will jump off a cliff.**

 **Feliciano's POV**

"Loviiii, dinner's ready!" Feliciano yells, trying to get his brother to come out of his room for the first time in 3 days. "Lovi, it's your favourite! Pizza!" Still no response. Feliciano decided to go up and check on him. He climbed the stairs and walked down the hall to his Lovino's room, directly across from his own. "Lovi?" He said gently, pushing the door open slightly. The lights were off, but he could just barely see his brother's sleeping form, curled gently under the blankets. "Lovino, I know you're hurt and think you're alone, but you can't stay in here in the dark, forever." He said, switching on the light and walking towards the bed. "Wake up and come eat." Feliciano says, shaking him softly. "Lovino, wake up!" He says a bit louder, when his brother still gives no response, and shakes him a bit harder. He begins getting a bit worried, when he gets no reaction. His brother is a light sleeper, and would usually be up and yelling at him by now. "Lovino, Lovino wake up, Lovi!"

 ***Timeskip brought to you by Gilbird's hatred of Peeps Candy***

 **Lovino's POV**

Lovino wakes up to a bright light in his eyes, and a sharp pain in his left arm. "Ugh.. Fuck.." He groans, rubs his eyes with his right arm, then sits up and blinks slowly. _Where the Hell am I…? I thought I was supposed to be dead, by now_. He thinks, confused and slightly upset. He looks around his surroundings, coming to the conclusion that he was in a hospital room and the sharp pain in his left arm was an IV needle.

"Lovi!" Suddenly he was squashed underneath a clinging monkey. "Ugh, Feli, get off of me." He says. "Oh, sorry Lovi, was I squashing you? Did I hurt you?! I'm sorry, forgive me I didn't mean to hurt you-" Feliciano babbles, quickly jumping off of him. "No, I'm fine, idiota. You just surprised me, you shouldn't jump on me like that. How long have I been out?" Lovino questions, wondering how much work he missed. "About three days." Feliciano replies, glad he's finally awake. "Three days?" He exclaimed, shocked. _I missed that much work? An entire fucking week, including the 3 days I was crying like a weak little bitch! How are we going to pay the bills?_ He internally fretted.

Suddenly, someone burst through the door. "Hey, Francis! How'd you manage to get knocked out? Anyway, I brought churros!" The stranger with an... Interesting Spanish accent exclaimed. "I think you have the wrong room!" "You have the wrong room bastard, get the fuck out." Feliciano and Lovino say, at the same time. "Oh, I'm sorry! I was just looking for my friend, Francis! He managed to get knocked out while he was out last night, and someone brought him here! He had to get stitches, I was just looking for his room." The man replies. "It's fine! I could probably tell you where the room is, I might have passed it on the way here! We're here because mi fratello overdosed on sleeping pills! The doctors say it was probably a suicide attempt.. They're thinking of keeping him for observation to make sure he doesn't try again." Feliciano says, sounding a bit more sorrowful than before. "I'm sorry.." The Spaniard says, sympathetically. "Oh! I forgot to introduce myself. I am Antonio Carriedo-Hernandez! You can just call me Toni or Tonio, if that's too long." He introduces. "It's okay, and I'm Feliciano Vargas, and that's my brother, Lovino Vargas! You can call me Feli!" He says.

At this point, Lovino is tired of these bubbly idiots. "Okay, we're all introduced and know each other's life stories, can the bastard get out, yet?" He asks, grumpily. "Lovi! That was rude!" Feliciano says, slightly surprised. "Lovi! That's cute! Oh, yea, I still need to check on Franny! Can you help me find room 132?" Antonio asks. "Oh! That's the room right down the hall, to the left.

Antonio finally leaves, leaving Feliciano and Lovino in peaceful silence. "Hey, Lovi, are you hungry? I am! I'll go get us some pasta, you stay here! I'll be back soon, see you!" Feliciano rambles, hugging Lovino, then rushing out of the room. Lovino eventually falls asleep from boredom, in the silent room.

 ***Timeskip brought to you by Iceland's fields of green grass***

 **Antonio's POV**

"Bye, Franny!" Antonio says, heading to his car parked in the driveway of Francis's house. They let Francis out after checking him up when he woke up that morning. He had to get some stitches, and has a minor concussion. _This must be the hundredth time this has happened. He just can't quit flirting with the wrong people, can he?_ He quietly chuckled to himself, pulling out of the driveway. He started wondering about the boy at the hospital he met, today. _I wonder what had driven him that far… He tried to kill himself! Hey, I should bring him something to make him feel better!_ With that in mind, he proceeded to drive to Walmart.

Once at the store, he contemplated what to get, driving pointlessly up and down aisles. _Flowers? No, too girly. Candy? No, he may take it the wrong way. A card? Boring. All of a sudden, he sees a bunch of strings floating in front of him. He looks up, and sees that they're attached to a bunch of balloons. Obviously. Perfect! Everyone loves balloons, right! He finds one that happens to be shaped like a tomato. Everyone loves tomatoes, right?_ He thinks, buying it without second thought. He also buys a blank card, and quickly scribbles down a note, and proceeds to drive back to the hospital.

He gets to the hospital in a matter of minutes, and gets to Lovino's room right when Feliciano is leaving. "Shh, he just fell asleep. Again. He's been sleeping all day, you would figure he would be more awake after sleeping for three days." Feli says, in a hushed tone. "Haha, okay! I was just coming by to bring these, maybe they will make him happier! He seemed rather upset, earlier!" Antonio said, presenting the balloon and card. "Actually, he's always like that," Feli says, "but, I'm sure he'll appreciate the balloon, he loves tomatoes! Well, I had better leave! I have cats I need to feed, I'm sure they're starving, I've been here all day!" He finishes, then leaves hurriedly. Antonio goes in the room, and sets the note on the small table beside the bed, tying the balloon to the bed.

 **Chapter Three**

 **Lovino's POV**

When Lovino awoke, the first thing he saw was a giant, floating tomato. _What the Hell kind of meds did they put me on?_ He wonders, slightly worried for his health. Then, he noticed a line that seemed to be attached to the tomato, and came to the realization that it was just a balloon _. Oh, thank goodness. I thought I was hallucinating from drugs, or some stupid shit like that. Wait.. Where the fuck did it come from? .. Feli must have brought it, I guess._ He thought, relieved. He leaned over to his bedside table, reaching for his glass of water, and felt a sheet of paper. He looks over, and sees a card with some writing on it. Curious, he picks it up and begins reading.

 _"Dear Lovino,_

 _I don't know why you did it, but I wanted to say I know where you've been. I've been pushed over the ledge that far before, too, but don't worry! It gets better! You have people that care about you, I mean, look at Feli! He seemed so upset, he must care so much about you! You seem a bit harsh, but I bet you're actually a really nice guy! Anyway, if you ever need to talk to somebody, I keep my phone on all hours of the night! If you don't feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger, though, I am sure Feli would always be open to talk to you. He really cares, you know. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon! I know it is hard, and feels like it will never end, but it WILL. It will end, eventually. It gets better._

 _Oh, yea! Here's my number: 186-106-1492"_

 _Sincerely, Antonio"_

 **Thanks for reading, reviews give me life, have a fabulous day.**


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